I knew in my heart the girls could do whatever they wanted -- granted they'd have to take a lot of precautions to do it, but... the sky was still the limit. Yet, my fear, my anxiety, my grief was so deep that I continued to dwell on the negative.
What was lost. What was hard.
Recently, something in me clicked and the fog of grief finally started to lift. I could see glimmers of bright, blue sky. The haze wasn't quite so thick.
I can't say it's fully gone - that fog. Some days it creeps back down and hides the blue. But, more days are bright and sunny now than they've been in a long, long time.
I've been thinking about the positives that I can see, feel from the girls diagnosis. The positives in our family; their little lives; even in me.
This post is just a glimpse of some of those things that now have a positive twist. A spin I thought might never come.
The girls strength.
They steel themselves against the pain of injections; against the sting of ignorant words;
against the day to day trauma of high and low blood sugars.
I see how they push through when their blood glucose levels are low, high.
When they are shaky and unfocused from hypoglycemia they still persevere.
When hyperglycemia hits and the fear of DKA sets in, yet, they go about their day as usual.
know when they are low or high and need a snack or correction and figure how how much of either.
We pray for a cure.
We protect the girls - collectively.
We share our fears and triumphs.
We monitor other family members for signs of this wretched disease creeping up.
in managing a predictably, unpredictable disease.
This also translates to more ---- sleep.
No more need for multiple blood glucose checks in the middle of the night.
Yes, alarms may wake us, but it's not EVERY night, several times a night.
What peace of mind and peaceful rest that brings.