Summer Internship

A sophomore in college, Jacob had spread his wings and worked in Laramie over the summer between his freshman and sophomore years.  This summer, however, he's expanding his wings further and heading off to Texas for a summer research program.

Gulp.

I knew this was a possibility.  A probability.  He's a smart guy.  A hard worker.  A diligent student.  His character warrants being chosen for such an honor.

Now, it's real.

He'll be home for a few weeks before his start date, but then he'll load up his car and travel almost 1000 miles away to work as a research assistant in Dallas, Texas.

Double Gulp.

We're so proud of him.  So excited for him.

Yet, the mama in me is sad, nervous, anxious about this new adventure he'll be taking.

So far away.

Such a big town.

Many new experiences, people, places.

Breath.

I know he'll be fine.  Great really.

He's a strong young man.  His intelligence, kind heart, and good sense will aid him as he's miles from home.  Far from our reach, our influence.

I rest assured on the fact we've taught him well.  We've directed the arrow of his life in the manners of God.  Striving to guide him as God directed us.  Teaching him right from wrong.  Good from bad.  Helping him learn to make his own decisions based on God's truth; on God's Word.  Pointing him in the direction to learn to find God's Will in his life.

My head knows these things to be true.

I've watched him navigate adolescence and young adulthood.  Making good choices. Following the moral path set out in the Bible for his life.  Choosing to turn away from evil; avoiding pitfalls that many young people fall into.

My heart, however?  Well, that's a little more difficult.

It still sees that tiny baby we brought home over 19 years ago - so precious, perfect.  That young toddler just beginning to take those first steps; tears falling from the bumps and bruises, yet determined to get back up and try again.  The young boy whose heart was broken by a harsh friend.  The teenager learning to maneuver his way through the growing pains of life.

It's amazing as we traverse these new parenting waters.  Just when I think it's gotten easier to 'let go' another 'first' erupts that seems to rattle the chains that tether a mother to her child.  Reminding me that another link needs to be added so he can venture further away from me.  One day, I'll have to unhook that chain altogether so he's no longer bound to his mama.   At least not in the same way.  He'll be out there - on his own. Making his own decisions.  Only coming to me of his own volition.

I know those days are not far off.

I know the links I'm adding to this parenting chain are running out.  It's almost time.

Each step; each adventure; each new experience gets us closer to unhooking, unleashing the chain.  Releasing our little boy into the world as a man.

This summer is just yet another step toward that end.

I know he's ready.

Me?  Well, let's just say, "I'm slowly, tearfully, sometimes fretfully getting there."  :-)