Drop off day and little girl wisdom

Our oldest three children headed off to Bible Camp this week.  Anticipating tears from the littles, I decided to head to the park to play and have some fun.

As we dropped the big kids off, packed their bags onto the back of the truck, prayed for their safety on the trip, gave hugs good bye, the girls were distracted playing with the other 'younger siblings'.

Blessings.

As the kids pulled out, Trinity's voice faltered a bit as she waved farewell.

We piled into the car, heading toward our destination to play at the park.

First, a quick stop at McDonald's for a 'potty break' and to grab a cup of coffee for mom.  Getting in line, tears emerged.  "I'm sad, mom.  I miss Bethany," whimpered Trinity.

"It's ok, Trin.  We're going to the park." Chimed Selah.

A soda for the road calmed the tears while thoughts of the playground filled their little heads.

Slides, swings, a climbing wall, a surprise appearance by church friends, rope climbing, and laying in the grass filled the morning.

Smiles abounded.

Wisdom exuding from the girls, Charity stated, "I think the park helped Trinity's crying."

Trinity then responded, "Yeah, and camping and the pool will be a big help too. That's why you planned those, huh Mom?"

Why yes, my precious little ones, that was partially why we planned some of the fun events for this week.

While the older three are off, learning about God; strengthening their faith; growing closer to the savior; bonding with friends, we planned some fun family connecting for just the three of you.

A time to grow together, closer to mom and dad, and closer to God as we explore His world and all the joys Wyoming has to offer.

Let the fun continue!

Science Fun

Each day I attempt to do a fun craft or activity with the girls. Especially now that they have finished their 'official' lessons for the year.  Keeps them occupied and makes certain I spend time purposefully engaging with them.  <When they are playing happily together, it's tempting to let them be and get projects/chores done.>   Such activities are usually fun for all.

Today, we began our craft time making some felt Bible Buddy Bookmarks. This was a colossal fail as the elmer's glue was just not cuttin' it.  The pieces would NOT stick together.

Once we bagged all the pieces up, the girls began begging for a 'replacement' craft. Trinity reminded me of a 'keep them busy' activity we'd done in the past.  Putting shaving cream in a bag with a drop or two of food coloring.  One then squishes it all around 'mixing' the colors.  Unfortunatly, we hadn't enough shaving cream and Daddy wasn't willing to forfeit what was left of his 'expensive stuff' for our project.  Guess that will be saved for another day.

Hmmmmm..... needed another idea.  Pinterest.

I came upon a neat suggestion using vinegar and baking soda with food coloring to have what I'll call 'color explosion'.  What a blast.  We've done similar activities in the past - volcanoes and the like, but.... this was a bit different.

                                           We gathered our materials.

  

Simple.  

A bottle of vinegar and container of baking soda.  

 4 clear cups for each girl, 4 large baking pans, 4 spoons for each, and food coloring.  

*Note: The pan made for super easy clean-up.

We lined the cups in the pans.  Filled them with vinegar.  Put drops of food coloring on the spoons. Then, filled the spoons with baking soda.

A little hesitant, Charity adds her first spoon

Next came the fun part -- adding the baking soda spoons to the cups.  Watching the girls excitement as the vinegar reacted with the baking soda, resulting in a "color explosion" out and over the top of the cups was priceless.

Adding spoon after spoon for bubbling fun

2 down, 2 to go

What fun.

Our finished product of fizzy fun

I think they had even more fun as they poured all the contents of their cups into the bottom of their pans and 'played'.  Occasionally we added a bit more baking soda to produce some 'bubbling', otherwise they just enjoyed scooping, stirring, and pouring their concoction back and forth from cups to pan.  The most creative aspect was the girls making 'spoon people' who were swimming and/or bathing in the now green vinegar/baking soda slush.

Stirring and pouring is half the fun

Sometimes ya' just gotta enjoy the simple stuff.

Mercy-filled Mothering

Recently, it seems many blog posts I've been reading have centered around showing mercy in parenting.

The first one I read I found inspiring. I thought, "Yeah, I should think about that."

The second one, made me ponder a bit more.

By the third one I began to wonder if God was trying to tell me something.

They weren't all in one day or even one week, but still in close proximity.  Coincidence?

Most who know me would probably describe my mothering style as a bit strict. We have high standards for our children. We strive to teach them the truths of the Bible and how to live out their lives in a way that honors and glorifies God.  Part of that is discipline and teaching self control.

As I read these various posts, however, I was struck by the fact that I have a tendency to target correcting the faults and not praising the positives near enough.

In my quest to raise up good, Godly children who will be an asset to society, I am prone to focus on correction, teaching, disciplining and not enough on offering encouragement,  mercy; as God does to me.

Part of this is my personality. I understand this.  In general I am a black and white type person - it's either good or bad.  You do something wrong, you receive appropriate punishment.  To receive reward, you need to do something to deserve it.

To be honest, I believe that is a good way to approach life.  My problem comes when I fail to offer the rewards because I'm so enthralled with doling out discipline.  Or, when I should use a situation to 'teach' in a gentle, merciful manner and instead I bring down the hammer in full force, showing less mercy than I should for a mild infraction.

I must admit, I'm grateful God does NOT do that to me.

Why then, do I act this way all to often with my own beautiful children?

I imagine it all goes back to my own sin, my own pride.  If the children misbehave, it's going to look bad on me.  If I let them get away with something, they will just do more of the same. (Again, I do believe this to be true in many cases, but.... mercy still needs to be shown).

In all honesty, I'm not sure HOW to change my actions.  I'm praying for wisdom. For God's intervention to give me a softer heart.

I do know, for now, I can make a conscious effort to praise my children frequently.  To clarify, I do praise my kiddos, but I also tend to correct them even more.  So, today, tomorrow, I will purposefully seek out positive actions performed by my children and verbally praise them for what I see.  Praise them for the wonderful hearts they possess; for the Godly characteristics I see developing.

The funny thing is, I praise them often to others.  Here on my blog. In facebook posts. To their grandparents, our friends. Techno-Genius and I have loads of conversations of how proud we are of all of the kids.

Now, however, I am determined to tell THEM as much as I do everyone else, just how wonderful they are.  To show them a little more mercy when they 'goof up'.  A little less sternness when they act like...well.... children.

Our precious bundles - I'm so blessed to be their mama

I'm not lowering our standards - God's standards are pretty clear. I'm not compromising our beliefs.  I'm just committing to be the type of mom that is a model of our Heavenly Father. Showing mercy yet still teaching and admonishing when appropriate.




I'm learning that maybe EVERY little infraction isn't worthy of my full 'mommy wrath'.


Thank you God for continuing to work in me.

Stages and Ages

Nurturing Selah during her illness this week made me remember how much I enjoy that part of mothering.

Not to say I'm not nurturing when the kids aren't sick, but they are all old enough now that I don't have to carry them around, tending to their every need.

I miss that!

Babies and I are a good mix.

Dont' get me wrong. I'm enjoying all the various stages the children have and are going through.

Teenagers are pretty fascinating.  The conversations you can have; the insights they portray; the maturity they display - most of the time; the less than wise decisions they occasionally make are all intriguing.  I'm learning to embrace much of it -- <sometimes.>  :-)

Pre-teens are a hoot.  Not little kids anymore, but not 'mature' teenagers either.  It's amazing to watch the whimsical manner in which they approach life.  Things are still novel to them.  They are figuring out their own place in this world yet still looking to mom and dad for guidance.  Fun and occasionally frazzling at the same time.

Early elementary kiddos are priceless.  Yearning to gain some independence, they are trying to stretch their wings.  Getting their own breakfast, choosing their own clothes, yet not wanting to 'clean up' after themselves because -- after all -- that are still little.

Last, but not least, the preschooler. She's torn between wanting to be like the 'big kids' and wanting to be babied by mama.  She's gaining a little independence and wants it when she's playing with her sisters, but.... at other times, she wants to be held, cared for, tended to.

Holding Selah this week - often; snuggling with her at naps; carrying her, as walking wore her out; stroking her head as her listless body sat on my lap; brought back those memories of when they were all just babes.

I LOVED holding them, stroking their hair, kissing their heads, rubbing their backs.  Just because they are older, bigger now, doesn't mean those activities need to cease.  Maybe they look different, but I'm still their mama, they are still my babies.

I wish my little ones didn't have to get sick, but I'm grateful for the reminder to be softer, more affectionate, to hold them on my lap, to rub their backs, to kiss their heads, to talk gently, lovingly to them, to serve them.... just because.... I can.  Just because..... I'm....

A common sight this week - minus the donut

MOM!

I Can See

We get our children's eyes checked annually. This year, timing was off a bit with our travels and moving.

The last time we'd gone, both boys still needed glasses but all the girls were fine. Bethany showed slight signs of near sightedness, but "that's normal for her age", the eye doctor assured.

Over that year, if I had been more astute, Bethany showed signs of her eyesight declining.  It wasn't until early fall - a month after what should have been our yearly check-up - that she really started complaining about 'not seeing' things from afar.  With all the plans of moving and getting our house ready to sell, I procrastinated setting up eye appointments.

As we stayed with Granddad before our move, he questioned whether she should see an eye doctor.  He had asked her to pick up a piece of paper on the floor and she literally could NOT see it.  UUGH!

Horrible mommy moment number 6,042 - realizing I had let her vision wane so dramatically that she couldn't even see a paper a little more than 5 ft from her face.  UUGH!

Once moved, it took us a little while to find an optometrist that would accept our insurance.

Oh the sights she missed during that time.  The deer we all admired on our neighbors front porch, the antelope along the prairie, the jack rabbits in the distance; she missed them all or at the very least just saw "brown blobs moving in the distance."

I felt bad, but at the same time I couldn't change the past.  All I could do was set up an appointment and wait.

Finally, we made arrangements to see an eye doctor in Laramie.

Sure enough, Bethany was in dire need of glasses.  Elijah needed a new prescription as did I, but Jacob's had gratefully remained the same and the littles were still perfectly fine. Phew, I didn't go to 6,043-6,045 bad mommy moments.

The first pair of frames she tried on were 'the ones'.  She tried on several more, but always returned to the initial ones she placed upon her face.  They were quite attractive on her and even a pinkish hue.  Fitting for our elegant young lady.

The call came in.  Her glasses were ready. I think she would have happily walked the 30 miles to town if we had let her to get them right then and there.

Following Jacob's surgery, we made a quick stop at the eye doctor's office to have her glasses fitted and bring them home.

Bethany sportin' her new glasses

Oh the smile on her face as she put them on that first time.  "He looks so big and close", she exclaimed of the technician helping her. As we walked out the door, a little skip in her walk, she giddily read all the signs that were so fuzzy just moments before.

I can't get back the sights she missed, but I can marvel as she sees some things as if for the first time since we arrived in our mountain home.  I'm thankful for that opportunity and will relish with her.

Have you ever been so distracted, preoccupied with life that you've had a 'bad mommy moment' you'd rather forget?  So glad God's grace is new every day and that children extend similar grace so readily.

Not so granola mom

Anyone who knows me well, would NOT describe me as an especially 'earthy/granola' mom.

I'm not into 'organic' foods.  I'm not necessarily what the masses would call 'green'.  I didn't nurse my children past 1 years old.  I don't avoid chemicals when I clean.  I ingest Splenda and caffein on a daily basis.  I allow my children to eat candy and pop-tarts.  I even use regular old store bought sunscreen as well as bug spray that contains Deet.  GASP!

I have nothing against those that do or avoid all of the above.  Kuddos to them for being hyper-diligent for a cause they hold dear.  I too have strong convictions and understand their desire to share their stance.

I DO try to feed my family healthy meals.  I keep our home tidy and clean (albeit sometimes with store bought chemicals).  I do my part to recycle and not harm this wonderful world God gave us.  I'm even hoping to venture into the world of 'homesteading' in the near future.  I also try to be informed - on both sides - of the many controversial facts that erupt concerning these issues I mentioned above.

However, many years ago, I heard a quote that greatly impacted my thought process.

This woman said, "If only people worried more about their children's spiritual well being as they do their physical well being. What a wonderful world we'd live in."

That quote changed my thinking forever.

When I first heard it, we had one child and I was.... well..... quite the over protective mommy.  I followed our eldest around with pillows when he first began sitting up and crawling. I  didn't want him to bump his head when he fell over, after all.  We followed all the recommended guidelines for solid food introduction.  My steely stare caused many a spoon to be taken from in front of his tiny mouth when unsuspecting relatives tried to offer him tastes of their unapproved morsels.

As he grew, my anxiety over the what if's, what could's began to mount.

After hearing this quote, my perspective changed.  Yes, I still try to do all I can to protect our children physically, but more important to me is protecting them spiritually.

Raising them to know God, His Word. Knowing the saving Grace of Jesus Christ in their lives. That is my primary objective.

Hence, I may not feed my children 'organic' carrots, but I do feed them daily from God's Word.

Even a little sand won't 'hurt'

As my chemist father-in-law has pointed out:  "Our world is made up of chemicals. Studies show there are far more 'naturally' occurring causes of diseases than those brought on by the use of 'chemicals' found in cleaning supplies and pesticides."   We do live in a fallen world. Not to mention, "All plants are 'organic'."  Just a little chemist humor there.

Choosing this stance may not make me popular; some  may even consider me seem less attentive; or it may just help others view things from a new perspective as well.

I too have my children's best interest at heart. I just approach it from a slightly different angle.

My focus isn't on what goes into their BODIES as much as it is what makes its way into their HEARTS.

Mom needs recycled

Have you ever had one of those days where you just needed to crawl back in bed?  You know, the type of day where you're just so grumpy you can hardly stand yourself?

It's on those days that I've learned to recycle.

Numerous culprits can be guilty for my temperament on such days.  Hormonal swings, too little sleep, haven't eaten, eaten too much of the wrong foods, reactions to someone else's words/actions, or not enough time in God's Word lately.

Unfortunately, I still haven't perfected controlling my moods.  I occasionally bark a little too much at the kids; snip a bit too often at my husband; get cranky more than I should with the annoying, uh hem, dutiful telemarketer.

It's those days - when my disposition is not quite 'sunny' - that I have needed to find a way to prevent myself from becoming too ugly to those I love the most.

I have been known to tell my kids when they are grumpy, irritable, and out of sorts that it's time to be recycled.  When I say that, it usually means they need to take a nap and get some rest.  For the littles this is quite literally SLEEP. For the big kids this is often just a break from whatever activity seems to be triggering the attitude along with some 'quiet time'.

Well rested babies make happy babies.... and apparently mommies too.

It almost always has a positive impact.

I discovered this tactic, similar to Tricks cereal, "Isn't just for kids".

When I find myself scowling too much, getting my panties in a bunch over the smallest matter, griping at the kids or techno-genius over the silliest of circumstances.... I go ahead and recycle myself.


I grab my Bible, put on some comfy clothes, and crawl into bed -- literally.  A little time in God's word, a short nap and my spirt is, more often than not, right as rain.  Or at the very least, improved.

Looks inviting - especially on those days

What works for you when you need to be recycled?  This is by far the most effective solution I have found.  I'm learning to allow the tasks to be put aside, the excuse that I'll not sleep well that night, be banished.

The manner in which I react and act toward my family - the bonds that can be built or broken - are far more important than finishing the laundry or assuring (yeah right) a good's nights sleep.  A short break from my otherwise grouchy day, to take a little time to read Scripture and rest, is just what the Great Physician ordered.

Coffee Chats

Early in our marriage, when we were pregnant with our first child, Techno-genius and I attended a parenting class series.

We gleaned some great tidbits from this class.  Our upbringings had been different, so getting on the same page was half the battle.

The biggest and best piece of advice we took away, however, was the concept of "couple time".

The idea that this new little baby should not be the CENTER of our world, was pivotal to this concept.  Yes, he would require our attention and need our affection, however our marriage needed to continue to be the focus for the husband/wife relationship to flourish and for the security of the child to expand. 

Initially we began this endeavor by having 'couch time'. We'd put our little tike in a bouncy seat nearby to entertain himself for a short time, 10-15 minutes.  During this time, mom and dad talked, laughed, planned, or just enjoyed being near one another.  As he grew, this time was adapted to include 'playpen' time in another room and our timeframe expanded to 30 minutes.

Not saying this was easy. It wasn't.  That baby was C-U-T-E and I enjoyed holding him, loving on him.  His daddy enjoyed kissing his nose and tickling his toes.  What would it hurt to just hold him on our laps while we had couch time?

You guessed it.  When we tried to have our time together, talking to each other; our attention was always diverted to him - that cute little babe.  So, back to the bouncy seat or playpen he went.

As we had more children, our couple time would ebb and flow.  We quickly realized how important this time together, uninterrupted by the needs and whims of the children, was to both our relationship and to the well being of the children.

The kiddos knew 'if mom and dad are ok, we are ok.'  What a blessing to give them.  Knowing Mommy and Daddy love each other = life is secure.

As our children grew and became more independent, Techno-genius and I began having morning coffee chats.  Depending on weather and where we were, we'd either have our cup o' joe outside, enjoying nature while we chatted or in our room where we could close the door and have privacy.  The children have been taught that this is 'mom and dad time'. They are not to interrupt unless it's important.  Granted there have been times we've had to discuss what 'important' actually entails. :-)

Our matching morning coffee mugs - ahhh, isn't that sweet?

This is such a sweet time for us. It gives us a chance to start our day together. Pray. Connect with one another.

In my opinion, it's also a great gift to our children.  A model of how to make their own marriages a priority.

Do you have a special couple time with your spouse?  Is it daily, weekly, monthly?  Or do you struggle to even get away once a year?

We do enjoy time away - a retreat or weekend get away, if you will - but the daily coffee chat time has been imperative to the strong, loving relationship we have built over the last 18 years.

Schedules - friend or foe?

I'll admit, I have a love/hate relationship with schedules.

On the one hand they work so well.  We put all our babies on feeding/sleeping schedules and they slept through the night by 8 weeks old and have continued to be happy, well adjusted, smart, well rested children ever since.

Yet, I also prickle at them.  I want spontaneity, surprise, freedom.  What can I really accomplish in a half hours time when I try to follow a strict routine anyway?

Balance!

That's what I've discovered really works for our family.  We do need structure - God is NOT the God of chaos.  His creation is all about design - order if you will.

However, His creation is also full of variety.  Hence, our lives should reflect a bit of that too.

I don't have to have the exact same menu each week, the same precise order of events.  But, I do need a plan.

Just an example of an average menu

In our house, a menu is pivotal.  We live a good 30 miles from the nearest real grocery store; a 'fly by the seat of my pants' approach to meals is just not going to cut it.  Hence, I write out a menu for the week with each meal represented.  I think the kids like this. It gives them a heads up as to what's on deck for their nutrition each day.




A written schedule of chores has also made life run more smoothly.  I tried the approach of every 1/2 hour being mapped out.  For our family, that was too restrictive.  If something didn't get done, we felt behind. Stress and anxiety prevailed.

Our chores schedule - posted on a wall for all to see

Our current schedule is broken down into two components.   A daily chores/activities section with approximate times the tasks should be accomplished.

 >Walk the dog after breakfast, sweep the floor after lunch, start school by 9 am - you get the idea.< 

The second sheet lists the days of the week and more elaborate chores that should be accomplished before dinner on that given day.

All the children and I have to do is look at the wall, see what's expected for that day, and make sure it gets accomplished.  It's freed me up from recalling what task has or hasn't been completed for the week as well as the constant nagging of the children to complete xyz. It's also given the kiddos more ownership over their responsibilities.


In summary:   Overall, I would consider a schedule to be my friend, but if I let it become my master - controlling every move I make, it quickly turns into my foe.  Balancing that line between chaos and robotic, using the faculties God has given me, is where I aspire to land.

What sort of schedules work for you?  Or are you strictly an 'as the mood strikes' sorta person?  I'd love to hear what works for others.  I'm always trying to tweak ours and find new ways to oil the wheels of life.