My Career - Motherhood

I consider being a mom and wife as my biggest 'calling' in life.

It's the most important 'job' I could have.

Yet, the prevailing message I perceive from our society is that this 'career choice' is no longer valid or valued.

Sure, there are still some of us 'die hard' moms out there that choose to stay home with our kids, but for the most part.... it's not respected.

Even more...   for those who do choose it, it's not considered 'ENOUGH'.

I'd dare to go as far as to say it's somewhat looked down upon - almost with disdain.

I see it on social media; in conversations w/friends and strangers; in commercials; TV shows; magazines.

The goal as a woman is to 'have it all'!  And 'all 'certainly is NOT to JUST stay home with one's children.

I recently read a 'new blog' in which the author was talking about just this very thing.  She mentioned being a mom and wife, but went on to say she's a '21st century woman' and can have it all, do it all.  Granted her point was that she's not trying to be what others say she has to be, but at the same time her emphasis was that she's not JUST a mom and wife. 

The prevailing message is:  Be a mom, but for heaven's sake 'don't lose yourself' while doing so.  Have your career - outside of the home. Something that DEFINES you. Don't - by any means - allow the terms WIFE and MOM to define you.  You are MORE than that.

That's the underbelly of most sentiments around the career 'MOTHERHOOD'!

When our older three children were young - infants and preschoolers, I joined a mom's group called MOPS - Mother's of Preschoolers.  It was a Godsend.  Techno and I had decided when Jacob was 18 mo old that I'd stay home - full time - to care for him and our home.  It was such a blessing to be able to do that.

I'm not going to say being home full time is always rosey - it's not.  Especially when you are in the trenches with young kiddos and have limited contact with adults during that time.  It's tough.

Sometimes you just want another grown up to talk to.

MOPS filled that need..... and more.

Friendship; encouragement; compassion; camaraderie; were all found with other woman navigating the same trenches I found myself in.

It also acknowledged the nobel calling of motherhood, wifehood.  It shed light on the importance of being home with one's children; of choosing to care for the home and your husband.

I was so elated when this group came into my life.  It helped me embrace the role I knew God had prepared me to fill and cemented my belief that such a role was meaningful.  Important.  Vital.

When our girls were born, I noted a change in the direction of that group.  It still supported moms of young children, but the 'bent' of the group was more toward empowering moms to meet their FULL potential - which now seemed to mean MORE than 'just motherhood'.

I was perplexed.

Motherhood, in and of itself, is an AMAZING way to fulfill one's greatest potential!  What greater way to impact lives than to raise up your own children?

I chose to not remain a member of that group.

It no longer fit my needs.

Plus, I was older, more mature, more established in my beliefs and friendships.  My older kids were being homeschooled and to be honest - I had more than enough conversations to fill my day.  :-) (Which if you recall, was one need I had when my children were young - conversation that included more than 2 syllables at a time.)

Reflecting now - I still see this same sentiment expressed.

Sure, being a mom is important, but....

..... it's not 'enough' for most.

Why?

It should be.

It could be.

It IS!

Maybe not everyone WANTS to be a full-time-stay-at-home-mom, that's their prerogative.  However, for those who do... shouldn't it be a viable, acceptable, even applauded role?  Just as any other 'career' a woman chooses is commended?

When I attempted to work part time, once all of our kids were school age, and I felt a few days a month working a few hours a day wouldn't be a big deal, I discovered an interesting mindset.

First of all was my own.

Even though our kids were a bit older - the youngest was 7.5 and the oldest was 19.5 and off at college - I still felt as though my 'job' should be at home - with those children.  Even though they don't 'need' me like they did when they were young, I could still be present to mold their character, answer their questions, console them when they were sad, comfort them when they were sick, rejoice in their triumphs, encourage them in their failures.

Just being there is important.

It matters.

More interesting was the perspective of others.

When I'd express how my kids missed me and I them, the prominent response I heard was, "Well, it's good you can be home with them, buuuuut it's really important that you get time away for yourself.  This is good for YOU.  You NEED this time away."

Most everyone I came in contact with espoused this opinion.

I was shocked.  Dumbfounded.  Saddened.  Mystified.

Maybe I'm just a mutant in my thoughts and feelings, but... I enjoy being home with my children.

I revel in watching them grow, mature, learn, even fail, and try again.

Sure, time for myself is important and necessary for prime health, but.... I can honestly say a 'job' or 'career' outside of the home isn't necessarily the way to accomplish that.

My CAREER is that of WIFE and MOM.

Those who choose to work outside the home - to have a different career - need time away from their job as well, right?  It's no different for moms who have made 'being home' their career of choice.

Most people don't get a second job in order to 'get time away' from their first job.  That's crazy talk, am I right?  No, most people take a day off; go shopping; go to the spa; go golfing; play tennis; take a day trip; stay home and watch Netflix; take a vacation; whatever it is that they find relaxing.

Why should it be different for me?  For stay-at-home moms?  My 'job' is wife and mom to my wonderful crew.  When I need a break, I do any number of the items mentioned above or some days.... I just take a nap and that's enough 'time away' to do wonders.

I'm a homeschooling mom to 6 wonderful children (well, 5 now as the oldest is off on his own in college) and wife to Techno.  My job is to teach these children - not only academics, but life skills; as well as tending to our home - via household chores, cooking, etc; and being a good wife to Techno.

If I do my job well, our children will become excellent members of society.  They will be movers and shakers in their own rights.  My husband will thrive in his chosen field.  Our home will be inviting, warm, and welcoming.

Just as a woman who values her corporate job and the successes she has there, I relish in my chosen field and appreciate the fruits of my labor when I see these smiling faces.

The reason I chose this career as MOM!  Why I LOVE my job so much.

I take my job description seriously.

I LOVE this career I've chosen.

I wish others valued it as well.

At the very least I desire that others wouldn't diminish this choice as something 'less' or not as fulfilling of a career as some other occupation done outside of these 4 walls I call home.