Wednesday, March 25, 2015

It really does get easier

The emotions continue to bounce, but the 'process' is getting easier.

Following the complete meltdown after my 'faux pa' of giving Selah an empty shot and having to give her a second shot due to my shortcoming, the morning started off smoothly with NO tears from our precious little girl throughout her shot for breakfast.

Odd as it may seem... that did my mama's heart a world of good.

It made this emotional roller coaster stabilize a bit.

It.    really.    will.    get.    easier.

In some ways, that knowledge makes my heart hurt too -- the fact our little girl 'will get used to' shots and pokes.  That this new way of life will become second nature, old hat.  It makes a parent's heart heavy, sad.  Yet, light and relieved.

Such weird emotions.

The remainder of the day went quite well.

It's a bit stressful to calculate carbs for EVERY thing she MAY want to eat.  We have to 'predict' just how much she'll eat, anticipate if she'll want seconds, determine if she should have a 'treat' after her meal or not.  All BEFORE she actually eats so we can administer the correct amount of insulin.  Anyone with a 6 year old child know just how unpredictable their eating habits can be from meal to meal or even within a meal.  Too much insulin and her sugar will bottom out.  Too little and her sugar levels will soar again.

No pressure.

It takes time.  It takes brain work. It takes some intuition of what she's likely to eat or not eat.  It takes patience.  It takes trust.  It takes faith.

Not all of these things are necessarily my strengths.  It's wonderful to have Techno to traverse these waters with together -- we are a good team.  A good system of checks and balances for one another.

The day progressed with limited 'issues' regarding her new diagnosis.  Lots of sugar checks. Lots of calculating proper doses for the carbs she would eat and the correction factor for high sugars.  But... it was better.  It was easier.

We really are getting into a routine.  Even this soon in the game.

For the second night in a row, we woke her at 1 am to check for middle of the night sugar levels just to be sure she's not too high or too low.

It many ways, I correlate this new experience to having a newborn in the house again.  Lots to learn, new experiences, little sleep, lots of worry, new schedules and routines, lots of joys as new milestones are met.  Crazy.

It's been amazing to see the color fully filling her face again.  She's eating full meals again.  We hadn't even realized just how little she was eating before.  Part of the difficulty of this coming on right around the time of her last illness.

All in all, she's returning to her old self again.  What a huge blessing.  We're helping her body heal.

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