Monday, April 6, 2015

Smiles and Release

Going to church on a couple Sundays ago was like salve to my soul.

In more ways than one.

Hearing God's Word; teaching a Sunday School lesson; praying with other believers - all those things fed my soul with the life-giving promises of God.

However, just. being. out.....

                Being with other people.....
                            Watching Selah be..... Selah.....

                                             Was healing to my heart too.

I smiled.

I laughed.

I talked about Selah's condition WITHOUT tears.

We went through all the steps of checking her blood sugar; calculating carbs and insulin amounts; administering insulin.

It was all -- dare I say -- normal?

Almost anyway.

I guess I really am moving forward.

We really are adjusting to our new way of life.

Not that there weren't moments.  Sad ones.  Hard ones.

One of the deacons asked for prayers and testimonies.  He then specifically mentioned the blessing of Selah being home. Of how scary that first night was.

Tears welled in my eyes then.  

But... those tears were tears of blessing as much as tears of sadness.

Life could have been different had we not known what was possibly going on with her BEFORE it got bad.

It was also difficult when it came time for our fellowship dinner and she wanted a taste of ALL the yummy looking desserts displayed before her.

I'm thankful she's so resilient.  So smart.

She understood that TOO MANY carbs aren't necessarily a good idea.  She understood that she needed to make a CHOICE as to WHICH dessert to indulge.

Ironically, last week, I really just wanted to stay  home.  Be reclusive.  Retreat.

Anything but be with other people outside of our family.

Sunday?  I struggled initially with wanting to leave the house.  Part of me would have been happy to stay home and recoil inward.

But... that wasn't an option.

I'm so glad I put away my misgivings.  I'm so glad I put on a smile and went.

What release it gave to be with others.  To LIVE life.  To realize that our 'new' normal isn't much different than our 'old' normal.

Just a few more steps and bit more calculating.

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