Friday, April 26, 2013

When our children hurt

One thing I wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared for when I became a mama was how to deal with our children's hurts.

Not so much their physical boo boo's.  I could deal with those.  A hug and kiss, a little TLC, a fun bandage - voila - all was well.

The emotional ones?  Those have been the kicker.

The hurt feelings.  The friendship splits.  The mean spiritedness of others.

With six kiddos, I can't tell you the number of times I've cried because one of our babies have been hurt by someone else's actions or words.

I must also admit that the mama bear in me wants to growl out when these 'injustices' happen.

I've learned, however, that these 'growing pains' are also part of life.  Walking through these rough times have helped mold our children into the beautiful, gentle, loving spirits they are becoming.

My heart has broken many 'a times as I've watched our kids bemoan a lost friendship, hurtful words spoken from a 'supposed' friend, chasms developed over silly tisks.

At the same time, that broken heart has been filled to the brim with pride and joy as I've observed our children overcome the hurt, the disappointment, the sadness; using it to help another; to grow; to gain compassion, empathy. To be MORE than what was done to them.  As they've learned what NOT to do to others because of how they felt when they were treated poorly.

It doesn't make my mommy heart ache less for them, but it does make that hurt worthwhile.  It does help heal the pain and it teaches my mama heart lessons.  Instructions on how to overcome my own hurts; how to help them the next time they hurt.

It also builds toughness in them - a character trait that will aid them in this life.


  1. Beautiful post Liz! Wonderful lessons for our children to learn. I know a hard lesson for me has been when friendships drift apart, learning to cherish them for that season. It is a lesson I am trying to teach my children now when I can. Wise words Liz, thanks!

    1. Funny you mention the 'friendships for a season'. My old friend I met with yesterday for coffee talked about this very thing. She strongly believes friendships are brought into our lives for 'season' - just as you said. It's good to cherish them while that season is in bloom, but it's also ok to let them go as that season comes to an end. Glad you enjoyed the post. It really has been the hardest part of parenting for me. Not so good at dealing with those hurts in my own life, so naturally it would be hard to help them walk through it too. Another way God keeps growing me. :-) Thanks for the encouragement.

  2. and Liz your family is like mine when u have such a large range of ages sometimes mom has to reinvent herself to develop new friendships for younger kids which doesn't necessarily mean the same families that older kids are friends with. With my Danny starting kindergarden this August I feel like I am starting over again and sometimes the newness of things wears me down a little bit but it's exciting at the same time too.


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