Thursday, May 16, 2013

Happy to be Me

How many of us look in the mirror and think, "uugh, I wish there was a reset button somewhere?"

I know I"m guilty.

Since getting married and gaining - well - a lot of weight, I have been fairly uneasy with my looks.

After 6 babies and almost 19 years, I have more of a lump shape than an hour glass figure; I carry luggage under my eyes; my natural highlights are now grey streaks; and cute dimples have been replaced with laugh lines. AVOIDING cameras and mirrors has become my plight.

As Doug and I dressed for our date, I thought, "He loves me as I am.  He finds me attractive.  God created me."

Yes, I have made choices that have made "more" of me, but despite all that, my husband still chases me around the house and my God still loves me.

Cooking at Doug's Dad's house
 before Christmas - normally,
I'd delete this photo
With that, I decided I am no longer going to "run and hide" when the camera comes out.  I'm not going to try every fad diet that comes along.  Nor am I going to hide behind the biggest sweater/sweatshirt I can buy.

I want to be healthy; eat right, exercise, take care of myself.  But, I don't have to be a size 6 to be beautiful.  Nor an 8, 10, even a 12.  It's not the number that counts - the scales don't define how attractive I am.

I need to learn to like myself - the way I look.  To accept me.

As I am - - now.  Not saying I can't strive to be better - God says we should always do that.

However, if I stay focused on what I should/could be, I'm missing out on who I am right here and now.

I want to leave pictures for my children and grandkids when I'm gone.  I don't want them to have to search long and hard to find a photograph of me.  I also want the photos to show the progression of my life - not just the "thin" me, the "young" me.

Heading into town - liked my hair this day
With my contacts in 

Thin, young me isn't the mommy my kids have had the last several years.  They love and see ME - they don't care what I used to look like compared to what I look like now. They  just know I'm  mommy and I love them. If you show pictures of "thin, young" me to the littles, they may not even recognize who it is.

Me and my best friend and the world's greatest husband

So, from now on, I'll take pictures and not be afraid to share them.  I'll try to be more comfortable in my own skin - not hide and shrink away fearing what others may think.

If God loves me, my  husband loves me, my kids love me.... I think it's time I love me.  It's time I'm "happy to be me".

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