I know I"m guilty.
Since getting married and gaining - well - a lot of weight, I have been fairly uneasy with my looks.
After 6 babies and almost 19 years, I have more of a lump shape than an hour glass figure; I carry luggage under my eyes; my natural highlights are now grey streaks; and cute dimples have been replaced with laugh lines. AVOIDING cameras and mirrors has become my plight.
As Doug and I dressed for our date, I thought, "He loves me as I am. He finds me attractive. God created me."
Yes, I have made choices that have made "more" of me, but despite all that, my husband still chases me around the house and my God still loves me.
|Cooking at Doug's Dad's house|
before Christmas - normally,
I'd delete this photo
I want to be healthy; eat right, exercise, take care of myself. But, I don't have to be a size 6 to be beautiful. Nor an 8, 10, even a 12. It's not the number that counts - the scales don't define how attractive I am.
I need to learn to like myself - the way I look. To accept me.
As I am - - now. Not saying I can't strive to be better - God says we should always do that.
However, if I stay focused on what I should/could be, I'm missing out on who I am right here and now.
I want to leave pictures for my children and grandkids when I'm gone. I don't want them to have to search long and hard to find a photograph of me. I also want the photos to show the progression of my life - not just the "thin" me, the "young" me.
|Heading into town - liked my hair this day|
|With my contacts in|
Thin, young me isn't the mommy my kids have had the last several years. They love and see ME - they don't care what I used to look like compared to what I look like now. They just know I'm mommy and I love them. If you show pictures of "thin, young" me to the littles, they may not even recognize who it is.
|Me and my best friend and the world's greatest husband|
So, from now on, I'll take pictures and not be afraid to share them. I'll try to be more comfortable in my own skin - not hide and shrink away fearing what others may think.
If God loves me, my husband loves me, my kids love me.... I think it's time I love me. It's time I'm "happy to be me".