Wednesday, June 26, 2013

How I Became the "Modesty Queen"

For those who may have known me as a teenager and young adult, you may have just choked on your coffee reading the title to this blog post.

To say I was less than modest in my younger years is an understatement.

I was definitely of the 'if you got it flaunt it' school of thought.  As well as 'it's HIS problem' if a guy can't keep his eyes to himself.

I wore mini skirts - I mean miniscule skirts; midriff shirts; off the shoulder shirts; strapless dresses; tight and low cut shirts/dresses; cut off short shorts; slits up to my rear; and skin -did-you-pour-yourself-into-those- tight jeans.

I. was. not. modest!

As I aged, my dress did become slightly more modest. Wisdom set in.  I learned that 'sexy' wasn't the ONLY way to attract a guy.  I also gained a bit more respect for myself along the way.

Modesty has been a huge process for me.  Not an overnight change.

After meeting Techno-genius, becoming a Christian, getting married and having children, God grabbed a hold of my heart.

He changed me.  My thoughts.  My attitude toward dress and modesty.

At first modesty to me simply meant 'covered'.  So, I ceased wearing low cut shirts. Tried to make sure all my skirts/shorts were around knee length - maybe a little above, but NOT mini-skirts that showed most of my thighs.  I still wore 'fitted' clothing, but not so much the 'skin tight' pants.

Time marched on.  We had even more children.  My eldest little girl was getting older.  She wanted a 'girls' club' in which she could be part.

God put it on my heart to start Girls Gone Wise.

Through this ministry, God worked in my life to do a 180 in my thought process of modesty.

In researching the topic of modesty to teach to this group of about 8 young ladies, I was moved in obedience to God to change my own wardrobe.  My own shopping habits.  My own attitudes and standards.

Through this study, 2 major points loomed out at me.  First, God calls Christian, Godly women to be modest and feminine: (1 Timothy 2:9  In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;) Second, men and women's dress are to be different, distinct.  (Deuteronomy 22:5  The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do are  an abomination unto the LORD they God.)

Studying what this meant, my heart was turned to realize - for me - wearing skirts/dresses fit all those requirements.

I feel more feminine when I wear skirts.  Pants - although modest and acceptable in our society - are very 'sexy and provocative' if worn tight enough to be feminine yet very masculine if worn lose enough to be modest.

Seemed like a catch twenty two to me.

So, my - our - journey into modesty really began.

Slowly I bought more skirts for myself and our girls. I altered jeans into jean skirts.  We began to wear skirts for most activities.  Eventually that grew to ALL activities.

A cincher for me was when, one morning, I changed our more 'tomboy-like' Charity out of her pants pajamas into a play dress.  Nothing fancy, just a simple jumper.  As soon as the dress was over her head and on her little body she 'curtsied' - in her own cute way - and proclaimed with an endearing feminine manner, "I'm a princess!"

Her entire demeanor changed.  She still bounced, but in a more 'feminine/princess' like manner.  Darling!

Another deciding factor was my own attitude toward Techno-genius.  I was more respectful, more submissive.  Just as Scripture calls me to be.  Amazing!  

Initially I thought it would be impossible for us to wear skirts ALL the time. What about sports; yard work; housework; etc?

Oh me of little faith.  It was no more difficult to do most of those activities in skirts as it was pants.  We wear leggings under all our dresses/skirts to maintain modesty and we can do anything in a skirt that other girls do in shorts or pants.  After all, at one time women did E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in skirts.  Why couldn't we?

In hindsight I can see the harm I may have caused for unsuspecting young men who couldn't keep their 'eyes to themselves'.  Not saying they didn't have their own responsibility, but I had some too and I blew it.

As a mom of both boys and girls - I don't want boys/young men gauking at my daughters the way I know young men looked at me.  

Just as importantly, I don't want our daughters to be stumbling blocks for young men trying to guard their heart, mind, and eyes.

In addition, I want our boys to have a chance at keeping their minds and eyes pure as they walk through this life. Having their sisters and mom model modesty will aid in that event.  Give them an example, a model to search for in a future wife.

We've taught our boys to 'avert their eyes', but that task is harder than one might think.  

Walking through the aisles of any department store results in our boys staring at the ground with their hands making a 'visor' to protect their eyes.  Advertisements and pictures are EVERYWHERE of scantily clad, sexy women in nothing more than their underwear.

Wow - I never paid much attention to those before.  But now.  With young boys/men.  I notice it A LOT!

How unfair it is we put our boys and men in this predicament.  Causing them to struggle with temptation.

It's my hope, that through teaching our girls to dress modestly; to act modestly, that we can make an impact for other young men going through the same struggles as our boys.

Cover up, young laidies. Avert your eyes, young men.

Help keep one another pure - your eyes, your minds, your hearts, and your bodies.

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