Monday, June 10, 2013

Letting Go is HARD

Recently, our oldest son, whom has always said he wanted to 'stay close to home' when he went to college, announced that he was going to apply to:  MIT in BOSTON - 3000+ miles away; Stanford in California - 1000+/- miles away; The Colorado School of Mines in Colorado - of course - 100+/- miles away; and the University of Wyoming in -- you guessed it Wyoming - 30 miles away.

He's a very intelligent young man.

Why wouldn't he apply to some of these 'prestigious' schools?

He's interested in chemical engineering, so a school like MIT is quite fitting.

Well, this past Fri I spent the morning...... crying!

Not a little sniffle, but full blown sobs which left my eyes puffy and my nose stuffy and my head achey.

Why, you ask?

I'm.   Not.   Ready.   To.   LET.   GO!

I realize that parenting is all about the process of letting go.

It's a God directed path to help us teach our children; aim the arrows in the right direction; then -- when the time is right -- release the arrow; letting it fly on it's own, praying for God's Will to be done.

I guess knowing this is our last year of molding him at home; knowing he'll be venturing out on his own; acknowledging that his time to spread his wings is fast approaching; wigged me out just a bit!

A year is a long time - when you're 2!   At 42, however, with 6 kids growing faster than weeds; a 16 year old entering his senior year, talking about going 3000+ miles away to college; a year seems like a mere blink of an eye.

We don't want to 'hold him back'.

Our intention is not to smother him.

Yet, his well being - physically, emotionally, mentally, and most of all spiritually is our HIGHEST priority.

It's in that vain that I have been and will continue to pray - fervently.

For God's direction.

God's Will.

We want what is best for Jacob.

However, unlike the world thinks, that may or may not be directly related to how prestigious the college is in which he attends.

Even though my mommy heart wants to keep him 'close to home' for selfish reasons (I'd miss him, 3000 miles is a long way to travel to bring a care package or meet for dinner, I wouldn't see him weekly or even monthly - barely yearly), a deeper reason for wanting him nearby is to help him continue to grow into the man GOD wants him to be.

I'm sure I'll have more days of crying.

Although, I pray the days of rejoicing with and over Jacob will far outweigh the weepy ones.

Either way, I'll trust God to lead him where he should go.  I'll pray Jacob's heart and mind are open to that guidance.

When the time comes - fall 2014 - I pray I'll have peace as I let go of Jacob's hands.  Knowing God's hands will slip into that spot; continuing to hold him up; walking along side him; guiding him;  protecting him.

Far better than I ever could.

Through this, my tears of fear and sorrow will turn to tears of joy and gratitude.

Letting go IS hard, but it is also necessary and good.

How have you worked through letting go and allowing your children to grow into the young men and women God intended?


  1. Liz, I can so relate to this. When my daughter was looking at colleges, her criteria were: any city larger than Cincinnati, any state but Ohio, and there had to be punks there. (This was a girl who was very active in her church youth group..) She actually made visits to University of Houston, UCLA and DePaul University in Chicago. Lucky for us, DePaul nailed her down to a scholarship on the spot and she ended up within a half day's drive from us. DePaul was a huge blessing, because it was a Vincentian school with the same Christian values we were trying to impart. All will be well, and I am rooting for Wyoming as 3 of my siblings are alums from there! Chris V

    1. Thanks, Chris. I am rooting for Wyoming too. :-) His grandparents are alums there as well. Plus his great grand father was Dean of Psychology. So glad things worked out with your daughter. We could be in a similar boat with scholarship opportunities. May determine where he ends up. :) Time will tell. God knows what's best. I really appreciate the words of encouragement.

  2. There is such a huge difference in the caliber of different programs. He really needs to be at a school where the faculty have something to teach him. At any of these schools he will find others with his values and priorities. Those plane tickets are going to be expensive, though!


    1. Ange - I agree he will benefit from a more rigorous program, but I also feel he WILL get a good education at any of the places he's looking. He may meet some with similar values and priorities at any of the schools, but we want to help him stay grounded as well. God know what he REALLY needs and will make it clear. Yeah, travel to visit will get mighty expensive.


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